Sounds silly?
Maybe, but my experience is that most people don`t know and/or don`t tell people close to them what they need.
Instead they often complain and tell people what they don`t want, don`t like, don`t appreciate and so on.
I don`t think it`s a good idea to….
I don`t appreciate you saying…..
I don`t want ….
So, ask yourself:
DO YOU TELL PEOPLE WHAT YOU NEED?
The reason why this is so important isthat first and foremost:
1: It`s important to know yourself and your needs.
If you need to rest or need to be alone for example, it`s important that you areconscious of this. That you don`t go around just feeling crap, without knowing what you need to feel good.
2: It`s important to listen and meet your needs.
Not all the time, but that you every day take some actions to meet your needs. To drink a cup of coffee, listen to music, watch your favorite TV-show, relax on the bed or go for a walk.
3: It`s important to take good care of yourself.
And to meet your needs is to do that. To love and respect yourself through meeting your needs. It is also important to let other people know what you need, either it is in business or in personal relationships.
4: It`s important so other people can take good care of you too.
All though it`s only you that as a grown up can take care of you, you will through telling people what you need teach and help them how you want to be treated and met as a person.
5: It`s your responsibility:
It`s your responsibility to both listen to your needs and communicate your needs to other people. If you don`t know or tell people what you need, you can`t blame others than yourself. If people around you don`t treat you the way you want and need them to, it`s your responsibility to take actions and care for yourself and protect yourself against people that treat you badly.
6: If you are met on your needs, it`s easier to meet other people on their needs too:
It starts with you and if you are good at sharing your needs, other people will too. Then you have a positive spiral where you and the people around you will take good care of themselves and the people around them. A win win situation.
I think so, but I also believe that people sometimes don`t say what they need in fear of being rejected. It`s easier to say what they don`t want than to be true to yourself and share your needs.
I too think it`s scary sometimes. My experience though is that it`s better to say what I need to the people around me and be true to myself. Yes, I`ve been disappointed a couple of times, but most of the time people have listened and respected my needs. That again has made me feel much more at peace andhappier with myself and in my life and made it easier to listen to other peoples need too.
Try it yourself. To tell your friend or partner or colleague what you appreciate:
I would reallyappreciateif we could go to the cinema.
I would really appreciate if we could sit down and talk about this.
I would really appreciate it if you could do this assignment.
PS: The best part is actually that the people around you get the chance to give you something that you need and want. To be able to give you that will fill them with joy too and you can show them gratitude back.
It`s all about giving.
So tell them what you need and ask them what they need too.
Helle<3